Where Some Are Home and Some Aren't

We used to have that on our answering machine as the outgoing message until people started getting confused and stopped leaving messages.

Let me introduce you to my family briefly.

Our family consists of:

R: 50 yr old with long history..we won't go there just yet
M: 30-something working mom
T1: 7 yr old bundle of energy
T2: 7 month old heartbreaker

Now that I have introduced you to us, would you like to introduce us to you?